The stress is setting in a little bit today. You know, from all the change coming at once. I'm sure that once I get into the swing of things I'll be fine. It's the anxiety/anticipation that really gets to me. I don't know what to expect, and in not knowing what to expect, my mind goes to the worst possible outcome.
For instance, when I go to the orientation meeting for my new job on Thursday, I'll need to let the scheduling people know that I have to have the afternoons of the 14th and 15th off (for those doctor's appointments I mentioned a few times before), and two weeks in January for our trip back to Minnesota. Of course I'm terrified they're going to be like "NO WAY! WHY DO YOU ASK SO MUCH OF US!? NO JOB FOR YOU!!!" I mean, they might have a problem with the two weeks thing, but they might have no problem at all. I just figure I should talk to them about it sooner, rather than later. Still, the confrontation of just asking for that time off makes me nervous.
I hate confrontation.
Also, Mark and I got to talk to our landlord again today, and view the apartment we'll be moving into. It's going to be great. There are windows on all four sides (in different rooms), a shade canopy-thinger over the patio, a security storm door with a dead bolt (on top of the regular door), and all kinds of other features. I should be - and am - super excited about moving in there. What I'm not so excited about is that the landlord was talking about moving our moving date from the 15th to the 21st. And then he asked if I can get our apartment ready for showing.
Umm... I started packing already today, thinking that we'd be moving out early next week. So all of our movies are in paper bags, sitting in the living room. I took down all of our wall hangings and stacked them on the dining room table. Tomorrow I was planning on working on packing up most of our clothes, which are currently scattered around the bedroom. Our bedroom closet is a disaster. How am I supposed to pack, while also keeping the apartment organized enough to show to potential renters?
I'm sure "showing" apartments while the renters are still in them is extremely common, and should be no big deal, but for some reason, it is to me. I hate for other people to see our apartment messy. It gets a top-to-bottom clean before anybody ever comes to visit. I don't want to let strangers see it in disaster mode!
Also, I'm starting to worry about the whole never-having-days-off thing that comes along with full-time work. I'm super spoiled about time off. And I'm an introvert, so I need recharge time. I have the feeling I'm going to wear down fairly quickly once the newness wears off.
But why am I complaining? I wanted a job so bad, and now I have one. I wanted more money to buy things I've been coveting, and I'll have that (to a small degree, at least). I wanted more space (and an upper level), and I'm going to be getting that.
I just need to stop freaking out. Everything is going to be okay.
Maybe I need to break out that "Calm Down" mix I made for dealing with stressful times. It always helps, and the lyrics of some of those songs make me laugh at myself.
HEATHER'S STRESSED OUT MIX:
1. "Calm Down," by Solid Gold
2. "Everything Will Be Alright," by The Killers
3. "That's Okay," by The Hush Sound
4. "Uptight (Everything's Alright)," by Stevie Wonder
5. "Get Over It," by Solid Gold
6. "I Don't Mind," by The Decemberists
...and some others. I can't remember the rest of the songs I had picked. It's been a while since I put the play list together, and I lost the CD I burned. Oh well. I suppose that's a good sign, right? Right?
I don't want anyone to think I'm not grateful for all the good things coming my way right now. I am grateful. Very grateful. I've just got a lot to think about, and sometimes it's hard not to get overwhelmed. I just need to teach myself how to think of just one thing at a time. Deal with things one by one.
At least that's what my husband tells me, lol. :)
In other news, I have been having waaaay too much fun fooling around with this Tudor Scene Maker on DollDivine lately. You should try it. If you're anything like me, I guarantee you'll be addicted.