I'm not even going to apologize for not writing in so long, because I have no doubt that I'm not going to post again for a while. Possibly a long while. I'm just lacking in motivation lately, and what little I do have I need to use up on things like laundry and dishes. (Example: I have yet to unpack my suitcase from my trip to MN back in February. Pathetic, oh yes. I am aware.)
Lots - and yet nothing - has been happening around here lately. Ben (the baby currently residing somewhere inside my abdomen) is kicking around a lot, growing nicely, and going to be present in around 4 months. Crazy, right? I'm getting a little nervous. Not so much about the labor itself (I know that's not going to be a bed of roses, yet I'm keeping as optimistic as possible), but about the aftermath I've been hearing of lately. Namely, the (forgive me if I'm somewhat graphic, for those of you who are sensitive of stomach) ridiculous amount of blood and whatever else that will be flooding out of me in the weeks after birth, the bruising, the flabbiness, the (possible) hair loss, sleepless nights, depression...
Hoo boy, they really gloss over those things when you're thinking about getting knocked up. And, once you do succeed in that arena, suddenly everyone is like, "OH BOY! Guess what's going to happen to you! It's not going to be pretty!"
I really shouldn't be freaking out. It's *mostly* temporary, and if it was so horrible that you couldn't get past it, no one would have more than one babby. It's just that element of preparing for the unknown. Postpartum symptoms can vary in intensity and whatnot, and I don't know if I'm going to be one of the unlucky ones or not. I guess I just need to apply that same optimism that's driving away fear of labor to what's going to happen afterward. There's really nothing else to be done about it, because it's going to happen whether I want it to or not.
Other than baby stuff (Ben already has sooooo many clothes! And I have not yet started on baby shower thank you notes. What utter nonsense thank you notes are. Not that I don't believe in thanking people, it's just... bah), I've been in the middle of a job transition lately. I put my two-weeks' notice in at Goodwill last Thursday. Only four more shifts before I'm done with the place.
I've already been working half-days at my new job. It's a small coffee stand located on Mark's Navy base. It pays about the same per hour, but the tips are fairly good. And I get to work by myself most of the time. And my "supervisor" instructed me to bring a book for down time (of which there is quite a bit.) It's not difficult, all stuff I've done at coffee shops before. The hours are a bit early - 6am to 2pm - but it does guarantee that I always have evenings free. Plus, it's only a couple of days a week. And they're not open on weekends. #winning
So, needless to say, I'm rather pleased with the new job.
Writing has been at a dead standstill for quite a while now. It's starting to really bother me, like an itch I can't scratch. It's not that I couldn't write if I wanted to, it's just that I so rarely feel like I have the energy. (Terrible excuse, I know.) Writing requires so much concentration, and I often feel like I struggle to concentrate on the simplest things. (Plus, you know, the thing I mentioned earlier about motivation and whatnot.)
What makes me feel even guiltier lately is that my husband - who dabbles in writing, but has never really professed a desire to be a writer - has been working on a new story idea of his own, and he is so crazy motivated. He spends hours brainstorming and typing up story notes. (Which is not writing, really, but still.) I haven't even been doing that.
Elise and I are supposed to Skype tonight, though, and I'm hoping that, between the two of us, a spark will get us going again.
I know that the story we're working on has the potential to become something really great, it just needs to get frigging written.
But...yeah. That's what's up with me.
Oh, and my older sister is coming to visit in a week and a half! :) So excited!
Oh, and Blogger changed their formatting.
I don't like it.