Thursday, December 22, 2011

I AM ALIVE! (but very bad at it)

Things have been rough around here, lately. I ran out of Zofran the other day, and cannot figure out who to call about refilling my prescription, so - needless to say - I did not make it to work today. I could barely keep my head out of the toilet all morning. That was fun.

Although, one thing - I laughed at throwing up for the first time today. Why, you ask? Because I threw up an Icee. A blue one. Sorry if you're squeamish or whatever, buthe blue... I dunno. It was a bad day overall, and I took whatever laughs I could get.

It doesn't seem all that funny anymore, though. Just sad.

Also, other bad things: I talked to work about the time off I asked for in January, and I'm not so sure they're going to give it to me. They said something about having a "policy" (that was never mentioned to me before) about not letting people take more than a couple of days off in a row within their first six months of work. But, because I mentioned the fact that Mark would be doing stuff for the military while we're back in MN (which is true), they're seeing if that changes the policy at all. I dunno. They're also probably not super happy with me for calling in sick a whole bunch. (They sounded sympathetic today because I was sobbing into the phone when I called in. Having just thrown up my third attempt at breakfast, I was a bit hysterical. Embarrassed about that now, but...whatever. It made them feel bad for me, and if sympathy works in my favor...fine.)

Sorry. I am all rambly and stuff. Can't focus very well. It is taking all my willpower to even sit down and type this. I have been napping and watching American Dad/wheezywaiter videos all day. Oh, and reading Foxtrot. I can't seem to do much that requires a whole lot of concentration. I'm very easily exhausted. I don't feel like myself at all.

I'm told that will go away at the beginning of my second trimester, when I will apparently regain some energy and sense of self. Only four more weeks to go until then... woohoo...

For now, back to Foxtrot.

Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS, e'erbody! Hard to believe it's this weekend already!

Man, I'm homesick.

And just plain sick.

But I'm trying to stay positive.

Or maybe that's just the delirium talking?


  1. I don't want to make you sad, but I love you and miss you very much! I can't wait to see you and hopefully things will be fine with work and vacation and by then you should be over being sick…hopefully too…yay! Keep us posted as to how things are going and how you're doing.
    Love, Mom

  2. Oh Heather, I'm so so so sorry! I was wondering how you were doing since you're not on Facebook very much. When I had my morning sickness, I couldn't go on the computer or read for about 8 straight weeks since I was so sick. So I was thinking about that and wondering. I'm so sorry you were diagnosed with HG :( My morning sickness was horrendous, but I only actually threw up I think 2-3 times because I was fortunate to get on the Zofran pretty early and that helped me have an appetite at least. Were you able to get a refill? Really all you should have to do is call your doctor and tell him/her that you need it. I was able to get Zofran from my midwife before even going in and having an appointment with her (but then again, I was already an established patient since I saw her for my miscarriage, so I don't know if that makes a difference.) But definitely DEFINITELY do everything you can to get more of that stuff. It's a total lifesaver. And I don't know if I told you this before, but once you're back on it for a while, don't stop suddenly. It actually works by blocking the nausea centers in your brain, so if you don't wean yourself off of it you can get really sick like if you stopped an anti-anxiety medicine suddenly. I used to take a 4mg tablet twice a day (before breakfast which allowed me to eat it, then around 4pm, then to bed around 9pm since by then I wanted to die) then I eventually was able to cut out the 4pm dose, then wean down to half a pill a day, then a quarter a day until I was totally off it around 20 weeks. I'm just so sorry. I really do know exactly how you feel, except that you probably feel even worse since you're throwing up so much and still having to work. Is there anyway you can re-work your budget so maybe you can just quit? I know there would have been no way in hell I could have worked my first trimester. I know it's so hard right now, you're probably feeling like you wish you could just go into a coma for the next month or so, but it really will be over soon. There are women who have morning sickness their entire pregnancies, but it's rare. The doctor was definitely right in that your intense sickness is a GOOD sign!!! That means your baby is growing big and strong and shooting off TONS of hormones into you. During my first pregnancy that I lost, my morning sickness was much lighter (I found out second time around!) and it went away suddenly a couple days before the miscarriage. So with Gavin's pregnancy, even though it was one of the hardest times of my life to get through, at least having the sickness there was comforting since I knew that meant he was a healthy fetus. But yeah, you should only have a month or so left! Unless you're unlucky like me and it goes into the 2nd trimester, but that's why you'll get more Zofran already. Update when you have a sec so we all know that you're alive :) THIS WILL PASS!!! Then you just need to start thinking about labor and delivery...hahaha! But as I've told you in copious verbiage before, it's really not that bad if you just trust that your body knows how to have a baby. Goooood luck! I'm thinking about you!! ~Karen