Friday, October 28, 2011

Oh boy!

So, I got some fun news today.

I recently (last Friday) had a mole removed from my left shoulder. It was about the size of a pinky-fingernail, and I'd had it as long as I could remember. It worried me from time to time, because it looked like the type of thing that could develop into skin cancer. I didn't do anything about it, though, because I was too chicken shit to go to the doctor, have it removed, and hear the words, "YOU HAVE CANCER."

(I should probably mention at this point, before I scare you too much, that I do not have cancer. Well. As far as I know.)

Since my husband joined the Navy and we have (basically) free health care, I have been getting a lot of minor procedures done that I've been putting off for a while. Getting the mole removed was one of them.

It was a simple enough procedure. They numbed the area, then cut it off. Didn't need stitches or anything. Just some gauze. The doctor told me she thought it was nothing, but they were going to test it anyway. She'd call me today if there was anything to report. If there wasn't, she wouldn't.

Oh boy.

You can imagine how I felt when I got a call from my doctor today.

They want to go back and cut more (a skin biopsy, they called it). This time around, I'll need stitches. I asked if the mole was cancerous after all. She said no, but they did find a few "abnormal cells." (whoopee) The biopsy was just a preventative measure, to make sure they got any last bit of weirdness, in case it one day decided it wanted to be dangerous. No cancer. Just "abnormal." (WTF does "abnormal" mean, anyway? What exactly was abnormal? I do not know.)

So, even though it's preventative, and the doctor told me I shouldn't worry, my paranoid brain has suddenly turned my body into a battleground full abnormalities that will, one day, unite and kill me. Violently.

Mark has been trying to keep me calm whenever I bring up my worry, but I'm not getting hysterical...


The title of this blog will stop being even the slightest bit amusing to me if I develop cancer.

Just saying.

NOTE: I do not find cancer amusing. The title of this blog was solely to poke fun (in a dark humor way) at the paranoid attitude cancer stirs up - it seems like everything gives you cancer these days. Deodorant, chocolate, coffee, cell phones, microwave ovens, etc, etc, etc.

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