Just to let you know: I'm not really in the mood to blog right now.
I'm not in a bad mood or anything, I'm just feeling tired and scatter-brained (probably the result of being both INCREDIBLY pregnant and the fact that I've been living out of a suitcase for the past few weeks).
But I feel I should be nice and post an update on how things are going and where they're at and all that good stuff, that way the few people who enjoy stalking my blog (because I totally stalk theirs back, if they have one) can... I dunno. Know things?
First things first, we made it safely to Norfolk (and apparently our stuff is safely packed and on it's way to MN. Though, apparently, we did not get to bring any liquids or foods, despite what the "moving appraiser" told us. Bye bye to half my bathroom items, I guess.) and are now staying in a long-term hotel-type thing called a Value Place. It is the tiniest bit shady, and the hallways reek of cigarette smoke, but it could be a whole lot worse. We have the basic amenities and are surviving just fine. (We have a stove, but no oven, and a George Foreman grill we broke down and bought. So it's been hot dogs and spaghetti and lots of other hobo foods, but we're being creative. :))
Mark is checked into the TPU office on his base (can't remember what exactly that stands for at the moment, but it's basically him being on "hold" and having a temporary working party and whatnot), and his ship has confirmed that he's clear to stick around until after Ben is born (YAY!), so we're just playing the waiting game with that now.
We checked me into the hospital yesterday, and despite some misinformation (which has since been corrected) and some semi-unfriendly admissions desk people, I'm generally okay with the place. They're booked solid at the moment, so - despite the fact that I haven't been able to see a doctor for a month and have no idea if I'm the least bit dilated or effaced or whatever - they weren't able to get me in until next Tuesday. They did, however, have some open Breastfeeding Basics class spots open, so I get to go do that tomorrow, then a Labor & Delivery tour on Thursday. That helps a little bit, since I was so worried about missing out on the classes I was scheduled for in San Diego.
As far as labor itself goes... like I said, I have no idea where I'm at. Sometimes I feel achy abdominal cramps, but I couldn't tell you if it was gas or contractions. I have no idea. Hopefully I'll be able to tell when I'm going into labor and won't just accidentally have Ben in the Value Place bathtub or something. Lol.
Oh, and also: my mom is flying into town on Saturday. I'm pretty excited. :)
Beyond that, there's not a whole lot to report. Or maybe there is, but I'm just too tired to get into the nitty gritty details of it all.
(I would regale you with stories of exploration in Virginia, but there really haven't been any. It's been so hot and muggy, we've spent most of our time cooped up in our little temporary studio, watching Dexter. So...yup. Maybe next time I'll have stories. Not today.)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Day After Tomorrow
Or, the day that we leave California. Possibly for good. (Well, not so much "possibly" as "probably," but you never know with the Navy. Mark keeps saying in this wishy-washy, oh-so-hopeful voice "Maybe they'll call me when we're in Minnesota and tell me my orders got dropped and to come back to San Diego." Yeah. Probably not.)
Life is in complete disarray at the moment. It's a fairly controlled type of chaos, but chaos it is. In my weird plan to try and get the actual apartment (you know, the place itself, not the things in it) as clean as possible before we have to abandon it to Vanessa and the movers, I decided I needed to take everything out of the kitchen cupboards so I could wipe them out. Because they so desperately needed it. (Not. At least, mostly not.) So our dishes are on our dining room floor, and our foodstuffs are on the counter, sorted out to "allowed to keep" and "have to give away" (according to the movers standards). Also, between having to shampoo various carpets and whatnot, things have been moved all willy-nilly, half-packed and just generally piled up everywhere.
I am so glad it isn't my job to put it in boxes.
But yes, I looked around my apartment today, and decided I should document the chaos. You know, for posterity's sake. (And for your entertainment.)
Yup. Mark packing his Sea Bag and Mango following me around like she's afraid I'm going to abandon her at any second. (I'm positive these dogs know something is up. They looked so worried and they follow us everywhere, constantly checking up on what we're up to. Poor things.)
What else? What else?
Well, our friends the Wakefields (or Chan and Ashley) finally had their baby last night. A little girl: Oaklyn May Wakefield. Ashley was two days past her due date and decided she would try taking some castor oil (not always recommended, but approved by her midwife). About 7 hours later, Oaklyn was born.
She was only in active labor for about 4 hours. Her water broke while she was taking a shower (around 9:30ish pm) and they just barely made it to the hospital in time for her to start pushing. Baby came out at 10:50pm. Craaaaazy! I hope my labor goes that fast.
Well, I suppose I should go do something useful. Although I'm not sure what. Not having to pack leaves me feeling directionless and lost in my own apartment. Oh well. It'll be over soon.
Life is in complete disarray at the moment. It's a fairly controlled type of chaos, but chaos it is. In my weird plan to try and get the actual apartment (you know, the place itself, not the things in it) as clean as possible before we have to abandon it to Vanessa and the movers, I decided I needed to take everything out of the kitchen cupboards so I could wipe them out. Because they so desperately needed it. (Not. At least, mostly not.) So our dishes are on our dining room floor, and our foodstuffs are on the counter, sorted out to "allowed to keep" and "have to give away" (according to the movers standards). Also, between having to shampoo various carpets and whatnot, things have been moved all willy-nilly, half-packed and just generally piled up everywhere.
I am so glad it isn't my job to put it in boxes.
But yes, I looked around my apartment today, and decided I should document the chaos. You know, for posterity's sake. (And for your entertainment.)
Yup. Mark packing his Sea Bag and Mango following me around like she's afraid I'm going to abandon her at any second. (I'm positive these dogs know something is up. They looked so worried and they follow us everywhere, constantly checking up on what we're up to. Poor things.)
What else? What else?
Well, our friends the Wakefields (or Chan and Ashley) finally had their baby last night. A little girl: Oaklyn May Wakefield. Ashley was two days past her due date and decided she would try taking some castor oil (not always recommended, but approved by her midwife). About 7 hours later, Oaklyn was born.
She was only in active labor for about 4 hours. Her water broke while she was taking a shower (around 9:30ish pm) and they just barely made it to the hospital in time for her to start pushing. Baby came out at 10:50pm. Craaaaazy! I hope my labor goes that fast.
Well, I suppose I should go do something useful. Although I'm not sure what. Not having to pack leaves me feeling directionless and lost in my own apartment. Oh well. It'll be over soon.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Things I Need to Get Done
Before Leaving San Diego:
x- Sort out anything that needs to go to Goodwill (take items to Goodwill)
- Clean out cupboards and fridge, get rid of expired/unwanted foods
x- Clean out bathroom cupboards, get rid of old/excess products
- Wash and fold all dirty clothes, sort out what goes into luggage, what gets packed up for moving
x- Cancel internet service
- Cancel utilities
- Clean apartment:
- Scrub out shower
- Sweep/mop floors
- Wipe down cupboards/counters
- Clean fridge/stove
- Vacuum/steam clean carpets
- Wipe down windows
- Set aside items to be packed in car
At Some Point In the Near Future:
- Switch Tricare Regions
- Switch car insurance to MN/register car in MN
- Set up internet service for MN
- Set up bill/allotment autopayments
- Look at getting digital camera
- Get Ben enrolled in DEERS (once he's born, obviously)
- Get in contact with ship's Ombudsman
Aaaaand there's probably more. I can't remember at the moment. Will add things as I think of them.
x- Sort out anything that needs to go to Goodwill (take items to Goodwill)
- Clean out cupboards and fridge, get rid of expired/unwanted foods
x- Clean out bathroom cupboards, get rid of old/excess products
- Wash and fold all dirty clothes, sort out what goes into luggage, what gets packed up for moving
x- Cancel internet service
- Cancel utilities
- Clean apartment:
- Scrub out shower
- Sweep/mop floors
- Wipe down cupboards/counters
- Clean fridge/stove
- Vacuum/steam clean carpets
- Wipe down windows
- Set aside items to be packed in car
At Some Point In the Near Future:
- Switch Tricare Regions
- Switch car insurance to MN/register car in MN
- Set up internet service for MN
- Set up bill/allotment autopayments
- Look at getting digital camera
- Get Ben enrolled in DEERS (once he's born, obviously)
- Get in contact with ship's Ombudsman
Aaaaand there's probably more. I can't remember at the moment. Will add things as I think of them.
Monday, June 18, 2012
CAN THINGS GET WORSE???
...oh, probably.
So, as many of you probably already know, Mark just got transfer orders. To Norfolk, Virginia. He's supposed to report on the 13th of July. His ship will be deployed already when he gets there. We haven't found out yet if they're going to let him hang around at base until the baby is born (sometime around the 31st), or if they're going to be like, "Sorry, Shipmate. No can do." and fly him out to his ship immediately. Either way, he's going on deployment for 8 months right away.
I am moving home to Minnesota during that time. We decided it would be the worst bad idea for me to try and take care of a newborn and two big dogs all by myself, with no support network, out in Virginia. Besides, this way I can stay with my parents and save up all the BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) that I won't be spending on rent. (Thanks, Mom and Dad! You guys are awesome!)
I'm actually pretty excited to move back in with the fam for a while. It'll be nice to have such a huge network of helpers and people to hang out with and keep me looking on the bright side of things. It'll also be a nice break from the "military wife lives FAR AWAY" thing - I miss everybody a lot. (Obviously I'm not excited that Mark is going to miss the first 8 months of his son's life, but I've got to stick to what positives I've got, right?) So...yeah. That part is going to be okay.
What sucks right now is that the Navy seems to be trying to throw a wrench into every plan we're making. For instance, we decided that it would be a million times easier for us to do a Navy move (where they come and pack all your stuff and then haul it to wherever you tell them to) than trying to pack and transport everything ourselves. So we set up a date for them to pick up our stuff (June 25th, two days before we plan to leave San Diego - time to clean the apt afterwards) and a date to drop it off at my parents (July 9th, the day before we plan on leaving Minnesota for Norfolk). WELL, the moving office called Mark this morning and told him they wouldn't be able to pick up anything until the 9th. Which would kill our ability to visit MN AT ALL.
,
Thankfully, they will allow someone other than Mark or I to release the "goods" for pick-up, as long as they have a letter declaring them authorized. So Vanessa (THANK YOU, V!) said she would do that for us. I feel bad, making her hang out and watch all our stuff get packed up, but I'm so grateful that she said she would do it.
OH, and they didn't let us choose our drop-off date either. They just told him it would be dropped off July 23rd-ish. So my Dad might have to take care of that end. (I mean, all he will have to do is tell them where to set stuff, but still. I feel bad for not being there to take care of it myself.) WHY ON EARTH did they pretend like they were going to let us choose dates for pick-up and drop-off if they were just going to shoot those dates down anyway?
Damn Navy, throwing wrenches in plans and whatnot.
Now the other thing is that, if Mark is able to stay for the birth, we are going to have to transport SO MUCH SHIT in the car with us so that I'll have Ben's stuff with me in VA, because it's not going to arrive until after we leave MN.
Because, okay, here is how we have this planned:
I can't fly. Let's just get that out of the way. No airline will accept me, because I will be about 35 weeks along when we actually leave San Diego. I'm not even really supposed to be making road trips, but we have no other option here.
So, PLAN A: If they let Mark stay through the birth, we drive to MN, spend a week there, drop off the dogs at whoever-is-going-to-watch-them's house (nobody has acted excited about volunteering for that one yet), then drive to VA (Mark's parents will follow in their car), rent a furnished extended stay hotel thing (they do exist, I found a few). Mark's parents will stay (because Mark wants to spend time with them) as long as their vacation time will allow, then they will drive home. Mom will fly out (one-way) a few days before Ben's due date and stay with us. Ben will be born, Mark will probably have to leave a day or two after, and Mom and I will stay until Ben is cleared for travel. (I read that this is around the two-week-old appointment.) Then she and I will drive my car home and I will stay in MN until about a month before Mark's deployment is over. At that time, I will move our crap to VA and find us a place to live so that Mark has something to come home to.
PLAN B: His ship says, "Nope. No baby for you." We drive to MN, spend a week there, drop the dogs off at whoever's house (doesn't anybody want to watch our dogs? WHY NOT?), and then Jan, John, Mark and I all ride in the same car to VA. We stay in a hotel a couple days to see Mark off, then Jan and John drive me home and I have Ben at the Mayo Clinic. I stay at my parents until about a month before the deployment is over, and yadda yadda yadda (same as PLAN A).
So...yeah. That's what we've got. It's the smoothest plans we could come up with, but they'll still be pretty complex and annoying. We could have done with a little help on the Navy mover's end, but whatever. It's the Navy/military. They don't like making things easy.
Now we have to attempt to clean our apartment as much as possible while all of our stuff is still in it. And possibly have to stuff waaaay more stuff than we hoped to have to in the car with us on our trip from CA to MN (because if Mark can stay until Ben is born in VA, I'm going to need all of Ben's newborn essentials with me, and they won't arrive until long after we're already in VA. BOO.) (Also because Mark refuses to let the movers move our TV or his computer, so we have to haul that stuff in the car with our luggage, dogs, and possibly horde of baby things.) *sigh*
This is more stress than I hoped to have right around this time in my pregnancy.
So, as many of you probably already know, Mark just got transfer orders. To Norfolk, Virginia. He's supposed to report on the 13th of July. His ship will be deployed already when he gets there. We haven't found out yet if they're going to let him hang around at base until the baby is born (sometime around the 31st), or if they're going to be like, "Sorry, Shipmate. No can do." and fly him out to his ship immediately. Either way, he's going on deployment for 8 months right away.
I am moving home to Minnesota during that time. We decided it would be the worst bad idea for me to try and take care of a newborn and two big dogs all by myself, with no support network, out in Virginia. Besides, this way I can stay with my parents and save up all the BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) that I won't be spending on rent. (Thanks, Mom and Dad! You guys are awesome!)
I'm actually pretty excited to move back in with the fam for a while. It'll be nice to have such a huge network of helpers and people to hang out with and keep me looking on the bright side of things. It'll also be a nice break from the "military wife lives FAR AWAY" thing - I miss everybody a lot. (Obviously I'm not excited that Mark is going to miss the first 8 months of his son's life, but I've got to stick to what positives I've got, right?) So...yeah. That part is going to be okay.
What sucks right now is that the Navy seems to be trying to throw a wrench into every plan we're making. For instance, we decided that it would be a million times easier for us to do a Navy move (where they come and pack all your stuff and then haul it to wherever you tell them to) than trying to pack and transport everything ourselves. So we set up a date for them to pick up our stuff (June 25th, two days before we plan to leave San Diego - time to clean the apt afterwards) and a date to drop it off at my parents (July 9th, the day before we plan on leaving Minnesota for Norfolk). WELL, the moving office called Mark this morning and told him they wouldn't be able to pick up anything until the 9th. Which would kill our ability to visit MN AT ALL.
,
Thankfully, they will allow someone other than Mark or I to release the "goods" for pick-up, as long as they have a letter declaring them authorized. So Vanessa (THANK YOU, V!) said she would do that for us. I feel bad, making her hang out and watch all our stuff get packed up, but I'm so grateful that she said she would do it.
OH, and they didn't let us choose our drop-off date either. They just told him it would be dropped off July 23rd-ish. So my Dad might have to take care of that end. (I mean, all he will have to do is tell them where to set stuff, but still. I feel bad for not being there to take care of it myself.) WHY ON EARTH did they pretend like they were going to let us choose dates for pick-up and drop-off if they were just going to shoot those dates down anyway?
Damn Navy, throwing wrenches in plans and whatnot.
Now the other thing is that, if Mark is able to stay for the birth, we are going to have to transport SO MUCH SHIT in the car with us so that I'll have Ben's stuff with me in VA, because it's not going to arrive until after we leave MN.
Because, okay, here is how we have this planned:
I can't fly. Let's just get that out of the way. No airline will accept me, because I will be about 35 weeks along when we actually leave San Diego. I'm not even really supposed to be making road trips, but we have no other option here.
So, PLAN A: If they let Mark stay through the birth, we drive to MN, spend a week there, drop off the dogs at whoever-is-going-to-watch-them's house (nobody has acted excited about volunteering for that one yet), then drive to VA (Mark's parents will follow in their car), rent a furnished extended stay hotel thing (they do exist, I found a few). Mark's parents will stay (because Mark wants to spend time with them) as long as their vacation time will allow, then they will drive home. Mom will fly out (one-way) a few days before Ben's due date and stay with us. Ben will be born, Mark will probably have to leave a day or two after, and Mom and I will stay until Ben is cleared for travel. (I read that this is around the two-week-old appointment.) Then she and I will drive my car home and I will stay in MN until about a month before Mark's deployment is over. At that time, I will move our crap to VA and find us a place to live so that Mark has something to come home to.
PLAN B: His ship says, "Nope. No baby for you." We drive to MN, spend a week there, drop the dogs off at whoever's house (doesn't anybody want to watch our dogs? WHY NOT?), and then Jan, John, Mark and I all ride in the same car to VA. We stay in a hotel a couple days to see Mark off, then Jan and John drive me home and I have Ben at the Mayo Clinic. I stay at my parents until about a month before the deployment is over, and yadda yadda yadda (same as PLAN A).
So...yeah. That's what we've got. It's the smoothest plans we could come up with, but they'll still be pretty complex and annoying. We could have done with a little help on the Navy mover's end, but whatever. It's the Navy/military. They don't like making things easy.
Now we have to attempt to clean our apartment as much as possible while all of our stuff is still in it. And possibly have to stuff waaaay more stuff than we hoped to have to in the car with us on our trip from CA to MN (because if Mark can stay until Ben is born in VA, I'm going to need all of Ben's newborn essentials with me, and they won't arrive until long after we're already in VA. BOO.) (Also because Mark refuses to let the movers move our TV or his computer, so we have to haul that stuff in the car with our luggage, dogs, and possibly horde of baby things.) *sigh*
This is more stress than I hoped to have right around this time in my pregnancy.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Guilt
Next week will be my last week at work (or last day. So far I'm only scheduled for one, and though the other coffee shop lady keeps trying to push me to take another, I don't really want to. We'll see.) and I'm feeling kind of guilty about it. I googled "working in the third trimester" and it sounds like a lot of Moms-to-Be are working right up until the due date. Granted, they all have office jobs - which I don't - but it also sounds like they're working more than two days a week (which I don't.) Some have even gone so far as to "guilt" other commentors who say they're cutting out before then.
Should I really feel guilty for stopping work? It is only two days a week, but I'm on my feet the whole time, the nearest bathroom is about a block and a half away, and I don't get breaks. (Whenever there aren't customers I can take breaks, but I have to get up as soon as one comes. Some days I get half-hour long breaks, some days I'm lucky if I can snag five minutes every now and then.) I get overheated in that stupid little cafe tent, and something about waking up that early does not seem to agree with my system. (I fainted on the way to work yesterday. Don't worry - got it checked out, they said it was probably because my blood sugar dropped, since I don't eat much in the mornings. Why don't I? Because when I'm up at 4:45, the morning sickness kicks back in. Fun.)
I don't want to feel guilty for not feeling like working 16 hours a week, but sometimes I feel like I'm being a wimp about the whole thing. Or I feel like I'm being made to feel like a wimp. (Mark doesn't make me feel this way. I explained to him my reasons for wanting to quit, and he thought they were pretty legit. He was also very worried yesterday, which I think strengthens my case for staying home in his head.)
But yeah... whether I feel guilty or not, I'm still done after next week. And glad to be so.
The other thing that has been stressing me out lately is that everyone in Mark's class - except for Mark, of course - now has orders to their individual ship. Two people have already left (one to Norfolk, one to Mayport) and the rest are in the check-out process or have transferred to the other base in San Diego. All the married people so far have orders to stay in San Diego (the Navy is trying to cut moving costs, as it is wicked expensive to uproot a family, whereas moving the singletons isn't quite so much), but...
The day Mark's good buddy, Chan (who is also married and expecting a new baby any day now), got orders to San Diego, Mark went to the office and asked if there was any news for us. The guy in the office said Mark has "verbal" orders, but he doesn't usually give those out, because they are frequently subject to change before they become "official." Mark asked what they were anyway.
They were to Norfolk.
As in Virginia.
As in all the way across the friggin' country.
It has been almost two weeks since Chan got orders. Still nothing for us. We're hoping the delay is because they're looking for open jobs here in San Diego so they don't have to move us, but it's hard not knowing what's really going on.
What's even harder is the fact that these ships, while most aren't deploying until middle of next year, are going on week-long and two-week-long "underways" every other week or so. Since we have no idea which ship Mark will be on, we have no idea what its schedule is. And that makes it hard to plan for the birth and how Mark should take leave. It also makes it hard to plan when Mark is going to see his family next, or if it's going to be possible for me to make it to MN in September, let alone him.
WE CAN'T PLAN A DAMN THING.
I mean, I knew the Navy would be like this, to an extent, but I am so frustrated! Why were we the last ones? Why couldn't it have been one of the married couples who wasn't expecting a baby and trying to plan whether or not they have to move across the country and change hospitals and whether the father is going to miss the birth of his first child? Huh? Why not them?
Every day that goes by without knowing, my stress seems to multiply by ten.
And what frustrates me about that is that everyone is all like "it is what it is," and "you can't let yourself get worked up about this," and "things will work out." Easy for you all to say - YOU HAVE ORDERS! YOU CAN PLAN! BAH!
Sorry. Whiny Heather is Whiny. But I had to vent somewhere. Here is as good as anyplace.
So...yeah.
How are you all doing?
Should I really feel guilty for stopping work? It is only two days a week, but I'm on my feet the whole time, the nearest bathroom is about a block and a half away, and I don't get breaks. (Whenever there aren't customers I can take breaks, but I have to get up as soon as one comes. Some days I get half-hour long breaks, some days I'm lucky if I can snag five minutes every now and then.) I get overheated in that stupid little cafe tent, and something about waking up that early does not seem to agree with my system. (I fainted on the way to work yesterday. Don't worry - got it checked out, they said it was probably because my blood sugar dropped, since I don't eat much in the mornings. Why don't I? Because when I'm up at 4:45, the morning sickness kicks back in. Fun.)
I don't want to feel guilty for not feeling like working 16 hours a week, but sometimes I feel like I'm being a wimp about the whole thing. Or I feel like I'm being made to feel like a wimp. (Mark doesn't make me feel this way. I explained to him my reasons for wanting to quit, and he thought they were pretty legit. He was also very worried yesterday, which I think strengthens my case for staying home in his head.)
But yeah... whether I feel guilty or not, I'm still done after next week. And glad to be so.
The other thing that has been stressing me out lately is that everyone in Mark's class - except for Mark, of course - now has orders to their individual ship. Two people have already left (one to Norfolk, one to Mayport) and the rest are in the check-out process or have transferred to the other base in San Diego. All the married people so far have orders to stay in San Diego (the Navy is trying to cut moving costs, as it is wicked expensive to uproot a family, whereas moving the singletons isn't quite so much), but...
The day Mark's good buddy, Chan (who is also married and expecting a new baby any day now), got orders to San Diego, Mark went to the office and asked if there was any news for us. The guy in the office said Mark has "verbal" orders, but he doesn't usually give those out, because they are frequently subject to change before they become "official." Mark asked what they were anyway.
They were to Norfolk.
As in Virginia.
As in all the way across the friggin' country.
It has been almost two weeks since Chan got orders. Still nothing for us. We're hoping the delay is because they're looking for open jobs here in San Diego so they don't have to move us, but it's hard not knowing what's really going on.
What's even harder is the fact that these ships, while most aren't deploying until middle of next year, are going on week-long and two-week-long "underways" every other week or so. Since we have no idea which ship Mark will be on, we have no idea what its schedule is. And that makes it hard to plan for the birth and how Mark should take leave. It also makes it hard to plan when Mark is going to see his family next, or if it's going to be possible for me to make it to MN in September, let alone him.
WE CAN'T PLAN A DAMN THING.
I mean, I knew the Navy would be like this, to an extent, but I am so frustrated! Why were we the last ones? Why couldn't it have been one of the married couples who wasn't expecting a baby and trying to plan whether or not they have to move across the country and change hospitals and whether the father is going to miss the birth of his first child? Huh? Why not them?
Every day that goes by without knowing, my stress seems to multiply by ten.
And what frustrates me about that is that everyone is all like "it is what it is," and "you can't let yourself get worked up about this," and "things will work out." Easy for you all to say - YOU HAVE ORDERS! YOU CAN PLAN! BAH!
Sorry. Whiny Heather is Whiny. But I had to vent somewhere. Here is as good as anyplace.
So...yeah.
How are you all doing?
Monday, May 21, 2012
Pregnancy Anger
I'm not quite sure what it is, but lately I've been in the worst mood. The littlest things will set off my temper and keep it high. It almost feels like I wake up angry... Well, not quite. It's the second that I get out of bed that I get angry.
I don't know if it's just hormones, or if the stress is starting to set in that, possibly very soon, I'm going to have a baby and two large dogs to take care of while my husband is overseas. It worries me to know that, while he's gone, I have no safety net. Unless I do decide to temporarily move back home, there will be no one to help me take care of the baby. I won't have a moment to myself. I won't get breaks. I'm not exactly sure how to deal with that at this point.
Add to that the fact that my boss keeps trying to pin me down to a last day - or to make me commit to coming back to work soon after Ben is born - and I just feel cornered.
I mean, come on. I don't know how long I'm going to feel like working. It's not that I work a lot of hours, but when you're on your feet for 8 at a time, outside in the heat (it does get hot in that stand sometimes), bending and lifting and trying to do a million things at once...I'm going to work as long as I can, but I'm not going to promise to be there right up until my due date.
And I highly doubt I'll be going back after the baby is here. I won't have anyone to watch him while I'm gone, and work isn't important enough to me to search for a babysitter/nanny/daycare. If I tell the boss that now, though, I'm sure she'll just pressure me and pressure me and pressure me. Right now, I'm staying as vague as possible.
Add to both of those things is the fact that I feel totally cut out of the "pregnant group" out here. One of the girls has already given birth, and the other is due next month. They hang out with each other all the time, and when all three couples get together, they pretty much talk to just each other and I spend my time chatting with the husbands. Even if we all do end up stationed in the same port (kind of doubtful), I'm not really sure I can rely on them for support.
I try not to be bitter about that. (I may have mentioned all of this before. Now that I'm talking about it, I can't remember if I've already said it.) Some people just click. They did, and I didn't. It's not like they're rude or anything to me... it's just that sort of mopey "they wouldn't care if I wasn't around" feeling.
It's not like I don't have other friends - I obviously do. It's just hard, being out here. I spend about 90% of my free time either alone or hanging out with Mark. And, as I mentioned before, he could be going on deployment soon.
I wish I didn't whine on this blog so much. It feels repetitive, and I feel guilty for making those of you who read this read my mopey nonsense, but... It's just been one of those weeks.
Oh, and Mango's rash is back. With a vengeance.
I don't know if it's just hormones, or if the stress is starting to set in that, possibly very soon, I'm going to have a baby and two large dogs to take care of while my husband is overseas. It worries me to know that, while he's gone, I have no safety net. Unless I do decide to temporarily move back home, there will be no one to help me take care of the baby. I won't have a moment to myself. I won't get breaks. I'm not exactly sure how to deal with that at this point.
Add to that the fact that my boss keeps trying to pin me down to a last day - or to make me commit to coming back to work soon after Ben is born - and I just feel cornered.
I mean, come on. I don't know how long I'm going to feel like working. It's not that I work a lot of hours, but when you're on your feet for 8 at a time, outside in the heat (it does get hot in that stand sometimes), bending and lifting and trying to do a million things at once...I'm going to work as long as I can, but I'm not going to promise to be there right up until my due date.
And I highly doubt I'll be going back after the baby is here. I won't have anyone to watch him while I'm gone, and work isn't important enough to me to search for a babysitter/nanny/daycare. If I tell the boss that now, though, I'm sure she'll just pressure me and pressure me and pressure me. Right now, I'm staying as vague as possible.
Add to both of those things is the fact that I feel totally cut out of the "pregnant group" out here. One of the girls has already given birth, and the other is due next month. They hang out with each other all the time, and when all three couples get together, they pretty much talk to just each other and I spend my time chatting with the husbands. Even if we all do end up stationed in the same port (kind of doubtful), I'm not really sure I can rely on them for support.
I try not to be bitter about that. (I may have mentioned all of this before. Now that I'm talking about it, I can't remember if I've already said it.) Some people just click. They did, and I didn't. It's not like they're rude or anything to me... it's just that sort of mopey "they wouldn't care if I wasn't around" feeling.
It's not like I don't have other friends - I obviously do. It's just hard, being out here. I spend about 90% of my free time either alone or hanging out with Mark. And, as I mentioned before, he could be going on deployment soon.
I wish I didn't whine on this blog so much. It feels repetitive, and I feel guilty for making those of you who read this read my mopey nonsense, but... It's just been one of those weeks.
Oh, and Mango's rash is back. With a vengeance.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Well, there goes that...
And so I fail another year of Blogathon. Oh well.
I don't have a good excuse. My lappy got a virus, but I could easily have typed up an entry on Mark's compy (or struggled to peck one out on my phone). I guess it just slipped my mind in the end, and I fell asleep on the couch in a cold medicine-induced stupor.
That doesn't mean I'm not ever going to blog again. I'll continue to try and keep things updated.
Okay, what's the news?
Well, I'm starting to get to the coughing-up-phlegm part of the nasty cold, which usually means I'm close to the end. Hooray! I cannot wait to be healthy-ish again! I think colds are my least favorite. (Not that morning sickness was a picnic.) They're just so debilitating, and no one gives you credit for how awful you feel. "Oh, it's just a cold. Suck it up." NO! I AM MISERABLE AND CANNOT BREATHE! BREATHING IS DAMN IMPORTANT! I AM IMPAIRED! But...yeah. Hopefully that will be over with soon.
Still, I need to stop by the store and replenish my survival supplies.
I think I already mentioned that I passed my glucose test? (WOO! YES!) So, other than the cold, I'm still in the golden stage of pregnancy. My back hurts a little every now and then, but no morning sickness (got rid of that around 16 weeks, then just had to wean off the pills) and nothing else major.
I'm at 29 weeks today. Only 11 left. Crazy. I can hardly wrap my head around what it'll be like to have a baby in the house.
Granted, I can hardly wrap my head around what it'll be like to be able to breathe normally again (once this cold is done) so I'm guessing my powers of visualization are suffering today.
Oh, another thing - I said I'd work an extra half shift at work tomorrow, and I am debating whether or not this was a smart choice, given I'm trying to recuperate. It wouldn't be so bad if an extra four hours didn't mean I have to get up at 4:45am for the next three days.
Immune system, please continue to work! I'll be your best frieeeend!
I don't have a good excuse. My lappy got a virus, but I could easily have typed up an entry on Mark's compy (or struggled to peck one out on my phone). I guess it just slipped my mind in the end, and I fell asleep on the couch in a cold medicine-induced stupor.
That doesn't mean I'm not ever going to blog again. I'll continue to try and keep things updated.
Okay, what's the news?
Well, I'm starting to get to the coughing-up-phlegm part of the nasty cold, which usually means I'm close to the end. Hooray! I cannot wait to be healthy-ish again! I think colds are my least favorite. (Not that morning sickness was a picnic.) They're just so debilitating, and no one gives you credit for how awful you feel. "Oh, it's just a cold. Suck it up." NO! I AM MISERABLE AND CANNOT BREATHE! BREATHING IS DAMN IMPORTANT! I AM IMPAIRED! But...yeah. Hopefully that will be over with soon.
Still, I need to stop by the store and replenish my survival supplies.
I think I already mentioned that I passed my glucose test? (WOO! YES!) So, other than the cold, I'm still in the golden stage of pregnancy. My back hurts a little every now and then, but no morning sickness (got rid of that around 16 weeks, then just had to wean off the pills) and nothing else major.
I'm at 29 weeks today. Only 11 left. Crazy. I can hardly wrap my head around what it'll be like to have a baby in the house.
Granted, I can hardly wrap my head around what it'll be like to be able to breathe normally again (once this cold is done) so I'm guessing my powers of visualization are suffering today.
Oh, another thing - I said I'd work an extra half shift at work tomorrow, and I am debating whether or not this was a smart choice, given I'm trying to recuperate. It wouldn't be so bad if an extra four hours didn't mean I have to get up at 4:45am for the next three days.
Immune system, please continue to work! I'll be your best frieeeend!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Cold Medicine
It's amazing how awesome the smallest things can seem when you're feeling desperate/helpless.
For instance: cold medicine.
I went to the ER today to see if what I've got is a sinus infection, to see if they could do anything for me. I also thought I'd mention that Ben didn't seem as active as he normally does. Not as much kicking and wriggling, etc.
Well, when I mentioned that, they sent me up to Labor and Delivery and hooked me up to the monitors. (Of course, Ben started kicking and moving all over the place, making a liar out of me.)
They did also check to see if what I've got is a sinus infection. It wasn't. I was ready to be depressed about that, since I was under the impression that if I couldn't get antibiotics, there was virtually nothing I could take to relieve the sinus pressure.
Then they told me I could take COLD MEDICINE!
GLORIOUS COLD MEDICINE!
I never realized what a difference the medicine makes, up until I thought I wasn't allowed to take it. (You don't know what you've got til it's gone, right?) Now I feel so grateful that I can, and a little bit high. (Cold medicine usually does that to me, lolz.)
They also told me I passed my glucose test - they looked up the results for me. WOOO! AWESOME!
Oh, and the Jezabels concert was pretty good last night. Thankfully there was a little bit of seating that Mark and I were able to snag, so I didn't collapse from sick exhaustion or anything. Mark had a couple of beers and got a little silly. I had a Coke and bought a t-shirt. (I'll take a pic of me in it - it actually fits over my preggo belly, haha) They're good live - the sound quality didn't suffer, like it does with some bands.
But...yeah.
Sorry if I've been rambly and delirious lately. Haven't been putting a lot of thought into these posts.
Besides, I really am a little bit delirious.
Deal with it. :)
For instance: cold medicine.
I went to the ER today to see if what I've got is a sinus infection, to see if they could do anything for me. I also thought I'd mention that Ben didn't seem as active as he normally does. Not as much kicking and wriggling, etc.
Well, when I mentioned that, they sent me up to Labor and Delivery and hooked me up to the monitors. (Of course, Ben started kicking and moving all over the place, making a liar out of me.)
They did also check to see if what I've got is a sinus infection. It wasn't. I was ready to be depressed about that, since I was under the impression that if I couldn't get antibiotics, there was virtually nothing I could take to relieve the sinus pressure.
Then they told me I could take COLD MEDICINE!
GLORIOUS COLD MEDICINE!
I never realized what a difference the medicine makes, up until I thought I wasn't allowed to take it. (You don't know what you've got til it's gone, right?) Now I feel so grateful that I can, and a little bit high. (Cold medicine usually does that to me, lolz.)
They also told me I passed my glucose test - they looked up the results for me. WOOO! AWESOME!
Oh, and the Jezabels concert was pretty good last night. Thankfully there was a little bit of seating that Mark and I were able to snag, so I didn't collapse from sick exhaustion or anything. Mark had a couple of beers and got a little silly. I had a Coke and bought a t-shirt. (I'll take a pic of me in it - it actually fits over my preggo belly, haha) They're good live - the sound quality didn't suffer, like it does with some bands.
But...yeah.
Sorry if I've been rambly and delirious lately. Haven't been putting a lot of thought into these posts.
Besides, I really am a little bit delirious.
Deal with it. :)
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Delirious
Which is what I am today.
The cold-thing hit me really hard and fast today. It's really hard to function. (And the Jezabels concert is tonight! WHY? WHY!?!? I'm still going, but...)
I think I'm going to go to the ER tomorrow, just to make sure this isn't a sinus infection. It feels like it could be one, and I don't want to let an infection hang around in my body when Ben is there.
But...yeah. Don't feel like talking. Maybe tomorrow.
The cold-thing hit me really hard and fast today. It's really hard to function. (And the Jezabels concert is tonight! WHY? WHY!?!? I'm still going, but...)
I think I'm going to go to the ER tomorrow, just to make sure this isn't a sinus infection. It feels like it could be one, and I don't want to let an infection hang around in my body when Ben is there.
But...yeah. Don't feel like talking. Maybe tomorrow.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Just Wonderful
I think I'm coming down with a cold. Thanks a lot, defective pregnant immune system.
In other news, I'll be 29 weeks this Tuesday. Only 11 more to go, more or less. O_o
In other news, I'll be 29 weeks this Tuesday. Only 11 more to go, more or less. O_o
Thursday, May 10, 2012
BLAHblah
Yeah, I probably won't be very exciting today. Due to a series of bad planning and whatnot, I ended up getting almost zero sleep last night and throwing up from exhaustion when I got to work this morning. Thankfully, the other worker was there as back-up and she sent me home.
Most of my day has been spent asleep, with random periods of awakeness in between.
Thankfully, all this sleep means I should be alright for work tomorrow morning.
In other news, Mark built us a tiny propane-fueled fire pit. We've been missing our Minnesota campfires, and aren't supposed to have wood-burning fires in this area (wildfire risk as well as not having enough space). Here's a picture of me, shortly after I made some s'mores.
See the little clay pot with flames and what looks like charcoal in it? That's our little fire pit. On our crowded little porch.
I miss having a yard.
Lately I've been hoping more and more to get stationed in Everett, WA. I've heard it's gorgeous, and - while it might be rainy - I'd like to experience more places. I mean, how often does your job pay to move you to a new location? Plus, there's a better chance of being able to afford to rent a small house (or at least someplace with a yard) than there is here in San Diego. Plus plus, I want more trees. It's so scrubby around here.
Although I have made some friends around here who I would be sad to move away from...
Whine, whine, whine.
I should probably stop talking.
Here's a picture of my Mango. Just because. :)
Most of my day has been spent asleep, with random periods of awakeness in between.
Thankfully, all this sleep means I should be alright for work tomorrow morning.
In other news, Mark built us a tiny propane-fueled fire pit. We've been missing our Minnesota campfires, and aren't supposed to have wood-burning fires in this area (wildfire risk as well as not having enough space). Here's a picture of me, shortly after I made some s'mores.
See the little clay pot with flames and what looks like charcoal in it? That's our little fire pit. On our crowded little porch.
I miss having a yard.
Lately I've been hoping more and more to get stationed in Everett, WA. I've heard it's gorgeous, and - while it might be rainy - I'd like to experience more places. I mean, how often does your job pay to move you to a new location? Plus, there's a better chance of being able to afford to rent a small house (or at least someplace with a yard) than there is here in San Diego. Plus plus, I want more trees. It's so scrubby around here.
Although I have made some friends around here who I would be sad to move away from...
Whine, whine, whine.
I should probably stop talking.
Here's a picture of my Mango. Just because. :)
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Trivia Night
So, every Tuesday night, Mark and I and a bunch of guys (and one lady) from his Navy class go out to a local restaurant for Trivia Night. Usually, we are the bomb. Usually, we finish in the top three (which means you win a gift card. 3rd place=$10, 2nd place=$20, 1st place=$30). Last night...
We finished second-to-last.
I don't know what happened. The first half went awesome. It felt like we knew every answer. They even asked about things I knew, which doesn't always happen.
The second half is what killed us. Questions like "What is the name of the French designer Lady Gaga usually teams up with?" (Can't even remember.) "What is the southernmost US Settlement?" (American Samoa) We even screwed up the question about classic literature.
Granted, they didn't make it easy.
"Which king sponsored the Three Musketeers?"
Louis the XIII.
You had to get the number right, too.
That was our first guess. Mine, actually. Don't know how I knew it. But one of the other teammates second-guessed me, and I didn't feel the least bit confident. So we wrote Louis the XIV instead.
It was really hard to keep from swearing when they announced the correct answer.
It's okay, though. We've been doing awesome so far, and our cumulative score is still alright for the tournament coming up.
But man, it hurts to lose.
We finished second-to-last.
I don't know what happened. The first half went awesome. It felt like we knew every answer. They even asked about things I knew, which doesn't always happen.
The second half is what killed us. Questions like "What is the name of the French designer Lady Gaga usually teams up with?" (Can't even remember.) "What is the southernmost US Settlement?" (American Samoa) We even screwed up the question about classic literature.
Granted, they didn't make it easy.
"Which king sponsored the Three Musketeers?"
Louis the XIII.
You had to get the number right, too.
That was our first guess. Mine, actually. Don't know how I knew it. But one of the other teammates second-guessed me, and I didn't feel the least bit confident. So we wrote Louis the XIV instead.
It was really hard to keep from swearing when they announced the correct answer.
It's okay, though. We've been doing awesome so far, and our cumulative score is still alright for the tournament coming up.
But man, it hurts to lose.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Parenting Barometer
Lately I've been wondering whether or not it's fair to judge the quality of a parent based on how much their child cries.
I mean, up to a certain age, it isn't, right? Because babies do what they're going to do. But beyond that, what factors in to how often a child throws a tantrum? Is it all the fault of the parents? (I'm leaning this way in my thought processes.) Or is it just how the child is? Genetics and nature and whatnot?
I know this is going into the whole nature/nurture thing, which is still a big argument in psychology and whatnot, but I'm curious.
What brought this on?
A baby is wailing somewhere in the near vicinity of my apartment. I don't know where exactly it's coming from, but it feels almost constant sometimes. Today the baby was joined by what sounds like a belligerent toddler, howling and tantrum-ing at the top of their lungs. It sounded like it was coming from the same apartment.
Is the baby fussy, or is it being neglected?
What is up with that friggin' screaming toddler?
Is this going to be what my life's soundtrack is like in a couple of months?
God, I hope not.
I mean, up to a certain age, it isn't, right? Because babies do what they're going to do. But beyond that, what factors in to how often a child throws a tantrum? Is it all the fault of the parents? (I'm leaning this way in my thought processes.) Or is it just how the child is? Genetics and nature and whatnot?
I know this is going into the whole nature/nurture thing, which is still a big argument in psychology and whatnot, but I'm curious.
What brought this on?
A baby is wailing somewhere in the near vicinity of my apartment. I don't know where exactly it's coming from, but it feels almost constant sometimes. Today the baby was joined by what sounds like a belligerent toddler, howling and tantrum-ing at the top of their lungs. It sounded like it was coming from the same apartment.
Is the baby fussy, or is it being neglected?
What is up with that friggin' screaming toddler?
Is this going to be what my life's soundtrack is like in a couple of months?
God, I hope not.
Things to Do...
Found a link today on The Rejectionist entitled Some Things To Do Instead of Working On Your Book: A Helpful Task List.
Not that I really needed help with that.
But it made me laugh.
Not that I really needed help with that.
But it made me laugh.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Five Movies That Inspire Me to Write
Today is a "theme post" for Blogathon, and - as you may have guessed from the title - the theme is Five Movies That Inspire Me to Blog. Since no movies really inspire me to blog, I broadened it to plain ol' writing.
So, without further ado:
1. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
I was interested in writing long before I ever saw LotR, but it wasn't until after I did (thanks to Elise) that I started writing fantasy stories. (Well, not including the weird little thing I wrote about unicorns when I was about seven...) They started off as fanfiction, which led to other fanfiction, which brings me to the next movie on the list...
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
Two Captains. 'Nuff said.
3. Harry Potter
A lot of other fanfiction I wrote, in the LotR/PotC phase was Harry Potter-related. Most of it was (intended) to be funny. A lot of the HP fics I liked to read were pretty snarky, and I think some of the Jack/Ryenne conversations are direct results of what I learned from authors like Cassandra Clare. :) Plus, HP fiction is just darn fun to write.
4. Coraline
I love the atmosphere of this movie. The mystery, the world-building, etc, etc. (Obviously, I love the book as well.) Another thing about it that led me to add it to this list is that I often use the movie soundtrack as background music when I'm writing. It's at times playful, tense, scary/creepy, and ethereal. Plus the fact that it has no real distinguishable lyrics (excepting "The Other Father Song," and "Sirens of the Sea") is helpful. Lyrics are often distracting.
And, finally...
5. Practical Magic
Don't judge me, here. This is, at its core, a movie about mystical, beautiful women and their mystical, awesome family. I love the back story to the Owens women. I love the Aunts. Every time I watch it, I just want to be Sally Owens. It always makes me want to write stories about witches and magic (if that topic weren't already done to death.)
(Obviously the movie has its cheesy bits, I'm not denying that, but I love it nonetheless.)
And that, good people, is my list.
I would write more, but I'm still recovering from the glucose testing I had to do earlier today. I feel groggy and fuzzy, so anything that requires mental effort is basically a no-no.
So I'ma go read Calvin and Hobbes now.
Bai bai. Until tomorrow...
So, without further ado:
1. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
I was interested in writing long before I ever saw LotR, but it wasn't until after I did (thanks to Elise) that I started writing fantasy stories. (Well, not including the weird little thing I wrote about unicorns when I was about seven...) They started off as fanfiction, which led to other fanfiction, which brings me to the next movie on the list...
2. Pirates of the Caribbean
Two Captains. 'Nuff said.
3. Harry Potter
A lot of other fanfiction I wrote, in the LotR/PotC phase was Harry Potter-related. Most of it was (intended) to be funny. A lot of the HP fics I liked to read were pretty snarky, and I think some of the Jack/Ryenne conversations are direct results of what I learned from authors like Cassandra Clare. :) Plus, HP fiction is just darn fun to write.
4. Coraline
I love the atmosphere of this movie. The mystery, the world-building, etc, etc. (Obviously, I love the book as well.) Another thing about it that led me to add it to this list is that I often use the movie soundtrack as background music when I'm writing. It's at times playful, tense, scary/creepy, and ethereal. Plus the fact that it has no real distinguishable lyrics (excepting "The Other Father Song," and "Sirens of the Sea") is helpful. Lyrics are often distracting.
And, finally...
5. Practical Magic
Don't judge me, here. This is, at its core, a movie about mystical, beautiful women and their mystical, awesome family. I love the back story to the Owens women. I love the Aunts. Every time I watch it, I just want to be Sally Owens. It always makes me want to write stories about witches and magic (if that topic weren't already done to death.)
(Obviously the movie has its cheesy bits, I'm not denying that, but I love it nonetheless.)
And that, good people, is my list.
I would write more, but I'm still recovering from the glucose testing I had to do earlier today. I feel groggy and fuzzy, so anything that requires mental effort is basically a no-no.
So I'ma go read Calvin and Hobbes now.
Bai bai. Until tomorrow...
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Glucose
I have my prenatal glucose test tomorrow morning to check for gestational diabetes. Thankfully, I don't have to fast or anything for the test, but I was told to take it easy on the sugar and carbs today, and to try not to eat in the morning before the test.
Guess who can't seem to stop craving sugar and carbs today?
Guess who ate four oatmeal raisin cookies and then had a large coconut chai?
Guess who is craving pizza for dinner?
Yeah, it's me.
I'm probably going to fail this test.
Guess who can't seem to stop craving sugar and carbs today?
Guess who ate four oatmeal raisin cookies and then had a large coconut chai?
Guess who is craving pizza for dinner?
Yeah, it's me.
I'm probably going to fail this test.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Destiny
I realized I can see the future today.
The future that I saw? Me, as an old lady, calling the police on the noisy teenagers next door. Because I cannot stand noisy neighbors.
I love our apartment...for the most part. I love that it has windows in every room, no shared walls, no upstairs or downstairs neighbors, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.
I do not love that the pool is just outside our spare room window. Sure, it's pretty to look at (when it's empty.) But I have worried about living next to it since the day we started considering moving in. Pools are noisy. (I should know - I lifeguarded at a [tiny] public pool for three consecutive summers.) Mark, my husband, said I was being silly to worry. Noise wouldn't be that big an issue.
And it hasn't been. Until today.
For a long time, it was too cold for swimming. And then the whole pool deck was being resurfaced. (The jackhammers were kind of an issue for me, but...yeah) But now. Now it is warm, and the kids are almost out of school.
Today, there was screaming. And shouting. And general rough-housing. It woke me up from my nap. It made me cranky. So cranky, in fact, that I was tempted to march down into my "back yard" and start shouting. Or punch a child. (Just one. To set an example.)
I have a very low tolerance for noise.
Now my only question is: will the end of summer find me with my sanity still intact?
I guess we'll see...
The future that I saw? Me, as an old lady, calling the police on the noisy teenagers next door. Because I cannot stand noisy neighbors.
I love our apartment...for the most part. I love that it has windows in every room, no shared walls, no upstairs or downstairs neighbors, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.
I do not love that the pool is just outside our spare room window. Sure, it's pretty to look at (when it's empty.) But I have worried about living next to it since the day we started considering moving in. Pools are noisy. (I should know - I lifeguarded at a [tiny] public pool for three consecutive summers.) Mark, my husband, said I was being silly to worry. Noise wouldn't be that big an issue.
And it hasn't been. Until today.
For a long time, it was too cold for swimming. And then the whole pool deck was being resurfaced. (The jackhammers were kind of an issue for me, but...yeah) But now. Now it is warm, and the kids are almost out of school.
Today, there was screaming. And shouting. And general rough-housing. It woke me up from my nap. It made me cranky. So cranky, in fact, that I was tempted to march down into my "back yard" and start shouting. Or punch a child. (Just one. To set an example.)
I have a very low tolerance for noise.
Now my only question is: will the end of summer find me with my sanity still intact?
I guess we'll see...
Friday, May 4, 2012
Maybe
I jotted down a few words in the car today while I was waiting for Mark to finish class (our schedule lately is weird. I will explain in a sec), but it's not enough of anything that I'm going to count it as "fiction writing for you."
This time I'm not lying...but it's only, like, five sentences, so...
This week has been a little jacked up.
As you know, I'm now working at a little coffee stand/tent-thinger on Mark's Navy base. Our schedules do not really line up, but they're not completely incompatible either. I've been working from 6am to approximately 2pm on Thursdays and Fridays. Mark is now in the last phase of classes (auxiliaries), which usually run from about 12pm to 2:30pm (long day, right?) He normally carpools in to base with his buddy, Chan, but this week that isn't working. (Chan's family is in town, so he got permission to switch to an earlier class, just for the week.) That means Mark has had to ride in to base with me at around 5:30am the past two days, hang around until class, and then I have to wait for him to finish before we can go home. Yup. Thankfully, it's only these two days. Although it was really nice to have him fetch and carry for me this morning. :)
Nothing much else to say for the day. I'm tired, so this post won't be long. Plus, we're going out to dinner with Chan, his family, and our other Navy couple, the Johnsons (and baby Cason!) We're having Mexican, which normally I do not go for, but this place has AMAZING free chips and queso dip, so...yeah. I'm all over that. I LOVE CHEESE.
But...yeah. If I'm not so tired I become a member of the walking dead, I'll tweak that tiny bit of writing and *hopefully* actually have something up tomorrow. We'll see.
For now, have a nice weekend!
See you tomorrow!
This time I'm not lying...but it's only, like, five sentences, so...
This week has been a little jacked up.
As you know, I'm now working at a little coffee stand/tent-thinger on Mark's Navy base. Our schedules do not really line up, but they're not completely incompatible either. I've been working from 6am to approximately 2pm on Thursdays and Fridays. Mark is now in the last phase of classes (auxiliaries), which usually run from about 12pm to 2:30pm (long day, right?) He normally carpools in to base with his buddy, Chan, but this week that isn't working. (Chan's family is in town, so he got permission to switch to an earlier class, just for the week.) That means Mark has had to ride in to base with me at around 5:30am the past two days, hang around until class, and then I have to wait for him to finish before we can go home. Yup. Thankfully, it's only these two days. Although it was really nice to have him fetch and carry for me this morning. :)
Nothing much else to say for the day. I'm tired, so this post won't be long. Plus, we're going out to dinner with Chan, his family, and our other Navy couple, the Johnsons (and baby Cason!) We're having Mexican, which normally I do not go for, but this place has AMAZING free chips and queso dip, so...yeah. I'm all over that. I LOVE CHEESE.
But...yeah. If I'm not so tired I become a member of the walking dead, I'll tweak that tiny bit of writing and *hopefully* actually have something up tomorrow. We'll see.
For now, have a nice weekend!
See you tomorrow!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
I Lied
Okay, so, I lied to you. I don't have any fiction writing to post for you today. It's not because I didn't get any done, it's just because I didn't feel it was quite ready for posting. It hasn't reached an organic break-off point, and I'm not going to force it to one right now.
Okay, that's a lie too.
I haven't written anything yet.
I know, I know. Yesterday I sounded so friggin' determined! What happened!? I'll tell you:
Shortly after writing that post, Mark got done with class, came into the Starbucks, and wanted to go home. Once we got there, I found out he had plans to Skype with his family. Mine is the only computer with a webcam. So...yeah.
Blaming it all on Mark isn't entirely viable, though. I could totally have written on his compy (but I'm too picky for that), written by hand (which I do, sadly, very little of these days), or just waited until he was finished skyping and then actually completed the goal I set myself (meh. No excuse.)
The fact is, I dropped the ball. I was planning on covering for it today and getting something written before I blogged, but...
Today was a really bad day.
I could whine about my job A LOT, but I don't think I'm going to. Not right now. Right now, all I want to do is recover from the 3-hour nap I just took, find some dinner, and maybe try to de-fuzz my head enough to actually do some writing and look less like a jackass for PROMISING writing, then doing absolutely nothing.
So...yeah. That's the plan.
Maybe I will have something tomorrow.
This time no promises.
Okay, that's a lie too.
I haven't written anything yet.
I know, I know. Yesterday I sounded so friggin' determined! What happened!? I'll tell you:
Shortly after writing that post, Mark got done with class, came into the Starbucks, and wanted to go home. Once we got there, I found out he had plans to Skype with his family. Mine is the only computer with a webcam. So...yeah.
Blaming it all on Mark isn't entirely viable, though. I could totally have written on his compy (but I'm too picky for that), written by hand (which I do, sadly, very little of these days), or just waited until he was finished skyping and then actually completed the goal I set myself (meh. No excuse.)
The fact is, I dropped the ball. I was planning on covering for it today and getting something written before I blogged, but...
Today was a really bad day.
I could whine about my job A LOT, but I don't think I'm going to. Not right now. Right now, all I want to do is recover from the 3-hour nap I just took, find some dinner, and maybe try to de-fuzz my head enough to actually do some writing and look less like a jackass for PROMISING writing, then doing absolutely nothing.
So...yeah. That's the plan.
Maybe I will have something tomorrow.
This time no promises.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
This Isn't Decaf
At least, I'm about 80% sure it isn't, if the way my heart is pounding is any indicator.
Today is feeling semi-mediocre so far, as optimistic a statement as that is. There are a number of contributing factors - my older sister had to fly home yesterday after a 10-day visit, I slept in until 10 today (and now have that fuzzy-headed oversleeping-type-feeling), and Mark should be done by around 3pm today, but we have no plans for the evening. We will probably laze pointlessly around the apartment, I will check Facebook five million times, and he'll hang out in the nursery/office, watching YouTube videos. I am not excited about these plans.
Unfortunately, Mark probably is excited about them, since he wasn't super excited about all the running around my sister and I did this past week and a half. Having plans seems to make him tired. Having no plans makes me somewhat depressed, especially since I'm trying to keep myself distracted so that I don't let myself feel too lonely.
Whenever someone visits, I get a pretty strong upsurge of that I-just-want-to-be-done-with-this-Navy-thing-and-go-home feeling. This time was no different. And the fact that it is a writing month (BLOGATHON HO!) doesn't do much to help. It just makes me miss Elise.
I could try and plan something with the small number of friends I have out here, but I doubt anything would come of the attempt: Vanessa and Dave are busy with their brand-new baby, Ashley and Chan have family visiting, and I'm pretty sure Kate will be working.
God, listen to me moping.
Sorry.
Moving on...
This whole Blogathon thing has had me rereading my past blog entries (most of which, I admit, are whiny and mopey) and thinking about doing some actual writing. It's been a little while since I actually attempted to do any of that, and I think it's high time I tried.
Wow. That sentence had no conviction.
Let me try that again:
I AM GOING TO DO SOME WRITING.
There we go.
And you know what? Instead of saying, I'll try to attempt to maybe start working on that at some point soon, I am going to go and do some writing RIGHT NOW.
In fact, I SOLEMNLY SWEAR I will have some writing to post on this blog by tomorrow. It may not be much, and it may not be awesome, but it will be something.
There we go. Now I have plans for the evening.
Today is feeling semi-mediocre so far, as optimistic a statement as that is. There are a number of contributing factors - my older sister had to fly home yesterday after a 10-day visit, I slept in until 10 today (and now have that fuzzy-headed oversleeping-type-feeling), and Mark should be done by around 3pm today, but we have no plans for the evening. We will probably laze pointlessly around the apartment, I will check Facebook five million times, and he'll hang out in the nursery/office, watching YouTube videos. I am not excited about these plans.
Unfortunately, Mark probably is excited about them, since he wasn't super excited about all the running around my sister and I did this past week and a half. Having plans seems to make him tired. Having no plans makes me somewhat depressed, especially since I'm trying to keep myself distracted so that I don't let myself feel too lonely.
Whenever someone visits, I get a pretty strong upsurge of that I-just-want-to-be-done-with-this-Navy-thing-and-go-home feeling. This time was no different. And the fact that it is a writing month (BLOGATHON HO!) doesn't do much to help. It just makes me miss Elise.
I could try and plan something with the small number of friends I have out here, but I doubt anything would come of the attempt: Vanessa and Dave are busy with their brand-new baby, Ashley and Chan have family visiting, and I'm pretty sure Kate will be working.
God, listen to me moping.
Sorry.
Moving on...
This whole Blogathon thing has had me rereading my past blog entries (most of which, I admit, are whiny and mopey) and thinking about doing some actual writing. It's been a little while since I actually attempted to do any of that, and I think it's high time I tried.
Wow. That sentence had no conviction.
Let me try that again:
I AM GOING TO DO SOME WRITING.
There we go.
And you know what? Instead of saying, I'll try to attempt to maybe start working on that at some point soon, I am going to go and do some writing RIGHT NOW.
In fact, I SOLEMNLY SWEAR I will have some writing to post on this blog by tomorrow. It may not be much, and it may not be awesome, but it will be something.
There we go. Now I have plans for the evening.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Is This Real Life?
Things are starting to feel more real, re: baby stuff.
Our friends, Dave and Vanessa (who were also pregnant), are now the proud parents of a healthy baby boy, Cason. He was born on Thursday at around noon, and he was absolutely adorable.
He's also the beginning of the end of the Pregnancy Trio. (That is a name I coined only for the purpose of this blog. The three of us Navy wives who happened to get pregnant at the same time did not make up some ridiculous group name for ourselves.) Vanessa isn't pregnant anymore. Ashley is next - sometime in June. The date is somewhat fluid, as her baby is already two weeks ahead of its growth schedule.
Then it's me.
I only have thirteen weeks left. That may sound like a lot - it even does to me, a little - but it's not really. I'm not feeling panicky about it, necessarily, it's just... fast. While you're in the first trimester and early second, it feels like you're going to be pregnant forever. Now that I'm only a week or so away from my third trimester, it doesn't feel like forever anymore. It feels pretty short. And then there'll be a baby.
And then a toddler.
And then a teenager.
...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Today is the beginning of the 2012 Blogathon for May. I failed last year, due to a combination of technical difficulties (thanks a lot, Blogger) and a couple of lazy days. This year, I will not fail. I've got no reason to. I don't have any major plans for the month, I'm only working a couple of days a week, and...yeah. No reason.
Right now, I'm sitting in the Starbucks across from Mark's base, waiting for him to get done with duty muster and drinking the new frappuccino (which should probably be illegal, it's so sugary and indulgent.) [Note: It's called the Mocha Cookie Crumble, and it has CHOCOLATE WHIPPED CREAM.] I find I prefer blogging and/or writing fiction away from home, rather than being there. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe Elise and I conditioned ourselves to be that way during the Caribou Binge of 2010. Maybe it's because I feel more like I'm "working" if I'm not sitting on the couch in my living room. Who knows? It's not really important, anyway.
I don't really have much else to say, so I guess I'll save it for tomorrow.
When I will be back.
And every other tomorrow for the rest of the month.
Our friends, Dave and Vanessa (who were also pregnant), are now the proud parents of a healthy baby boy, Cason. He was born on Thursday at around noon, and he was absolutely adorable.
He's also the beginning of the end of the Pregnancy Trio. (That is a name I coined only for the purpose of this blog. The three of us Navy wives who happened to get pregnant at the same time did not make up some ridiculous group name for ourselves.) Vanessa isn't pregnant anymore. Ashley is next - sometime in June. The date is somewhat fluid, as her baby is already two weeks ahead of its growth schedule.
Then it's me.
I only have thirteen weeks left. That may sound like a lot - it even does to me, a little - but it's not really. I'm not feeling panicky about it, necessarily, it's just... fast. While you're in the first trimester and early second, it feels like you're going to be pregnant forever. Now that I'm only a week or so away from my third trimester, it doesn't feel like forever anymore. It feels pretty short. And then there'll be a baby.
And then a toddler.
And then a teenager.
...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Today is the beginning of the 2012 Blogathon for May. I failed last year, due to a combination of technical difficulties (thanks a lot, Blogger) and a couple of lazy days. This year, I will not fail. I've got no reason to. I don't have any major plans for the month, I'm only working a couple of days a week, and...yeah. No reason.
Right now, I'm sitting in the Starbucks across from Mark's base, waiting for him to get done with duty muster and drinking the new frappuccino (which should probably be illegal, it's so sugary and indulgent.) [Note: It's called the Mocha Cookie Crumble, and it has CHOCOLATE WHIPPED CREAM.] I find I prefer blogging and/or writing fiction away from home, rather than being there. I'm not quite sure why. Maybe Elise and I conditioned ourselves to be that way during the Caribou Binge of 2010. Maybe it's because I feel more like I'm "working" if I'm not sitting on the couch in my living room. Who knows? It's not really important, anyway.
I don't really have much else to say, so I guess I'll save it for tomorrow.
When I will be back.
And every other tomorrow for the rest of the month.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
WHY!?
I am a smidgeon frustrated today.
For the past week or so, I've been putting off the major cleaning/organizing kick I need to go on to get our apartment clean before my older sister comes to visit this weekend. Well, today, I finally got the impetus to really get started. YAY, right!? The bedrooms are mostly done, and I did the dishes! I could be finished with the rest this evening...
Which is where my problem lies: I have to go to Goodwill this evening, from 4pm to 9pm, to clean up after other people and try to make the monotony pass as quickly as possible. I could call in - and I considered it - but Mark told me not to. Plus, it is my second-to-last shift there, and they'd know I wasn't really sick or anything.
Ugh.
It's not really that big a deal or anything. I mean, I have tomorrow and Thursday and most of Friday to get the rest finished. It's just that I felt like complaining. And I'm at that point where it's really hard for me to give a shit about Goodwill. I owe them nothing anymore, and I'm so close to finished... I keep wanting to flip out at annoying customers because, come on, what are the managers going to do at this point? Fire me?
But no, I have no backbone and too much of that I-don't-want-to-destroy-a-reference-however-shitty-it-may-be thing.
But yes. Just wanted to vent for a moment.
K bai.
For the past week or so, I've been putting off the major cleaning/organizing kick I need to go on to get our apartment clean before my older sister comes to visit this weekend. Well, today, I finally got the impetus to really get started. YAY, right!? The bedrooms are mostly done, and I did the dishes! I could be finished with the rest this evening...
Which is where my problem lies: I have to go to Goodwill this evening, from 4pm to 9pm, to clean up after other people and try to make the monotony pass as quickly as possible. I could call in - and I considered it - but Mark told me not to. Plus, it is my second-to-last shift there, and they'd know I wasn't really sick or anything.
Ugh.
It's not really that big a deal or anything. I mean, I have tomorrow and Thursday and most of Friday to get the rest finished. It's just that I felt like complaining. And I'm at that point where it's really hard for me to give a shit about Goodwill. I owe them nothing anymore, and I'm so close to finished... I keep wanting to flip out at annoying customers because, come on, what are the managers going to do at this point? Fire me?
But no, I have no backbone and too much of that I-don't-want-to-destroy-a-reference-however-shitty-it-may-be thing.
But yes. Just wanted to vent for a moment.
K bai.
Crafty Cravings
I am craving some crafting today. The urge will probably pass before I can afford the fabric and other whatnots required, but today I am dreaming. :)
What brought on the urge was this bag tutorial (I'm just posting pics, not the actual tutorials.)
It's pretty simple and doesn't look all that great when done in plain beige canvas, but imagine it in THIS AWESOMENESS!
Looking at awesome fabric made me go through all the tutorials I've bookmarked, and decide that I also want to attempt this dress, possibly using the fabric above as the bottom part of the dress. (Is that cool, or too weird? Hmm...)
The only thing I've never done before is the ruffles thing, but there's a whole separate tutorial on how to do those, so it's not like I'll be stumbling blindly through the process. (If I do ever actually make the thing.)
The idea of sewing clothes made me search through Burda's pattern catalogue, which made me desperately want to create this vundebar, comfy-looking shirt:
Possibly with this fabric (or the many other cool jersey knit selections I found):
Sooo...yeah. That's all I have to say for now. I just wanted to share my ideas and get some feedback.
So, yeah.
What brought on the urge was this bag tutorial (I'm just posting pics, not the actual tutorials.)
It's pretty simple and doesn't look all that great when done in plain beige canvas, but imagine it in THIS AWESOMENESS!
Looking at awesome fabric made me go through all the tutorials I've bookmarked, and decide that I also want to attempt this dress, possibly using the fabric above as the bottom part of the dress. (Is that cool, or too weird? Hmm...)
The only thing I've never done before is the ruffles thing, but there's a whole separate tutorial on how to do those, so it's not like I'll be stumbling blindly through the process. (If I do ever actually make the thing.)
The idea of sewing clothes made me search through Burda's pattern catalogue, which made me desperately want to create this vundebar, comfy-looking shirt:
Possibly with this fabric (or the many other cool jersey knit selections I found):
Sooo...yeah. That's all I have to say for now. I just wanted to share my ideas and get some feedback.
So, yeah.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Aftermath
I'm not even going to apologize for not writing in so long, because I have no doubt that I'm not going to post again for a while. Possibly a long while. I'm just lacking in motivation lately, and what little I do have I need to use up on things like laundry and dishes. (Example: I have yet to unpack my suitcase from my trip to MN back in February. Pathetic, oh yes. I am aware.)
Lots - and yet nothing - has been happening around here lately. Ben (the baby currently residing somewhere inside my abdomen) is kicking around a lot, growing nicely, and going to be present in around 4 months. Crazy, right? I'm getting a little nervous. Not so much about the labor itself (I know that's not going to be a bed of roses, yet I'm keeping as optimistic as possible), but about the aftermath I've been hearing of lately. Namely, the (forgive me if I'm somewhat graphic, for those of you who are sensitive of stomach) ridiculous amount of blood and whatever else that will be flooding out of me in the weeks after birth, the bruising, the flabbiness, the (possible) hair loss, sleepless nights, depression...
Hoo boy, they really gloss over those things when you're thinking about getting knocked up. And, once you do succeed in that arena, suddenly everyone is like, "OH BOY! Guess what's going to happen to you! It's not going to be pretty!"
I really shouldn't be freaking out. It's *mostly* temporary, and if it was so horrible that you couldn't get past it, no one would have more than one babby. It's just that element of preparing for the unknown. Postpartum symptoms can vary in intensity and whatnot, and I don't know if I'm going to be one of the unlucky ones or not. I guess I just need to apply that same optimism that's driving away fear of labor to what's going to happen afterward. There's really nothing else to be done about it, because it's going to happen whether I want it to or not.
Other than baby stuff (Ben already has sooooo many clothes! And I have not yet started on baby shower thank you notes. What utter nonsense thank you notes are. Not that I don't believe in thanking people, it's just... bah), I've been in the middle of a job transition lately. I put my two-weeks' notice in at Goodwill last Thursday. Only four more shifts before I'm done with the place.
I've already been working half-days at my new job. It's a small coffee stand located on Mark's Navy base. It pays about the same per hour, but the tips are fairly good. And I get to work by myself most of the time. And my "supervisor" instructed me to bring a book for down time (of which there is quite a bit.) It's not difficult, all stuff I've done at coffee shops before. The hours are a bit early - 6am to 2pm - but it does guarantee that I always have evenings free. Plus, it's only a couple of days a week. And they're not open on weekends. #winning
So, needless to say, I'm rather pleased with the new job.
Writing has been at a dead standstill for quite a while now. It's starting to really bother me, like an itch I can't scratch. It's not that I couldn't write if I wanted to, it's just that I so rarely feel like I have the energy. (Terrible excuse, I know.) Writing requires so much concentration, and I often feel like I struggle to concentrate on the simplest things. (Plus, you know, the thing I mentioned earlier about motivation and whatnot.)
What makes me feel even guiltier lately is that my husband - who dabbles in writing, but has never really professed a desire to be a writer - has been working on a new story idea of his own, and he is so crazy motivated. He spends hours brainstorming and typing up story notes. (Which is not writing, really, but still.) I haven't even been doing that.
Elise and I are supposed to Skype tonight, though, and I'm hoping that, between the two of us, a spark will get us going again.
I know that the story we're working on has the potential to become something really great, it just needs to get frigging written.
But...yeah. That's what's up with me.
Oh, and my older sister is coming to visit in a week and a half! :) So excited!
Oh, and Blogger changed their formatting.
I don't like it.
Lots - and yet nothing - has been happening around here lately. Ben (the baby currently residing somewhere inside my abdomen) is kicking around a lot, growing nicely, and going to be present in around 4 months. Crazy, right? I'm getting a little nervous. Not so much about the labor itself (I know that's not going to be a bed of roses, yet I'm keeping as optimistic as possible), but about the aftermath I've been hearing of lately. Namely, the (forgive me if I'm somewhat graphic, for those of you who are sensitive of stomach) ridiculous amount of blood and whatever else that will be flooding out of me in the weeks after birth, the bruising, the flabbiness, the (possible) hair loss, sleepless nights, depression...
Hoo boy, they really gloss over those things when you're thinking about getting knocked up. And, once you do succeed in that arena, suddenly everyone is like, "OH BOY! Guess what's going to happen to you! It's not going to be pretty!"
I really shouldn't be freaking out. It's *mostly* temporary, and if it was so horrible that you couldn't get past it, no one would have more than one babby. It's just that element of preparing for the unknown. Postpartum symptoms can vary in intensity and whatnot, and I don't know if I'm going to be one of the unlucky ones or not. I guess I just need to apply that same optimism that's driving away fear of labor to what's going to happen afterward. There's really nothing else to be done about it, because it's going to happen whether I want it to or not.
Other than baby stuff (Ben already has sooooo many clothes! And I have not yet started on baby shower thank you notes. What utter nonsense thank you notes are. Not that I don't believe in thanking people, it's just... bah), I've been in the middle of a job transition lately. I put my two-weeks' notice in at Goodwill last Thursday. Only four more shifts before I'm done with the place.
I've already been working half-days at my new job. It's a small coffee stand located on Mark's Navy base. It pays about the same per hour, but the tips are fairly good. And I get to work by myself most of the time. And my "supervisor" instructed me to bring a book for down time (of which there is quite a bit.) It's not difficult, all stuff I've done at coffee shops before. The hours are a bit early - 6am to 2pm - but it does guarantee that I always have evenings free. Plus, it's only a couple of days a week. And they're not open on weekends. #winning
So, needless to say, I'm rather pleased with the new job.
Writing has been at a dead standstill for quite a while now. It's starting to really bother me, like an itch I can't scratch. It's not that I couldn't write if I wanted to, it's just that I so rarely feel like I have the energy. (Terrible excuse, I know.) Writing requires so much concentration, and I often feel like I struggle to concentrate on the simplest things. (Plus, you know, the thing I mentioned earlier about motivation and whatnot.)
What makes me feel even guiltier lately is that my husband - who dabbles in writing, but has never really professed a desire to be a writer - has been working on a new story idea of his own, and he is so crazy motivated. He spends hours brainstorming and typing up story notes. (Which is not writing, really, but still.) I haven't even been doing that.
Elise and I are supposed to Skype tonight, though, and I'm hoping that, between the two of us, a spark will get us going again.
I know that the story we're working on has the potential to become something really great, it just needs to get frigging written.
But...yeah. That's what's up with me.
Oh, and my older sister is coming to visit in a week and a half! :) So excited!
Oh, and Blogger changed their formatting.
I don't like it.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Just Realized...
I never posted the awesomeness: another commission from the vundebar Anna Stansfield.
The oh-so-devilishly handsome Quinn!
And a portrait.
Rawr! He's so sexy and evil, isn't he?
Note: If you have no idea who I'm talking about, perhaps it's time you read this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1592954/1/Two_Captains
The oh-so-devilishly handsome Quinn!
And a portrait.
Rawr! He's so sexy and evil, isn't he?
Note: If you have no idea who I'm talking about, perhaps it's time you read this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1592954/1/Two_Captains
Monday, April 2, 2012
Kurt Vonnegut's Rules For Writing
Creative Writing 101
Now lend me your ears. Here is Creative Writing 101:- Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
- Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
- Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
- Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
- Start as close to the end as possible.
- Be a sadist. No matter sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
- Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
- Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
Elise and I definitely followed number 6. And often.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Writing Cravings
Lately, I've had that craving to write that comes every now and then (and is wonderful), but I haven't made much of it. Mostly for stupid reasons that have no real validity. You know, dumb excuses. Like: I'm feeling frazzled in the brain box, I'm too tired, there's too much cleaning to do, I'm not inspired... yadda yadda yadda.
One thing I have been doing a lot of, though, is clicking through websites on StumbleUpon. And occasionally those websites include advice on how to get "inspired" or arouse your creativity. I keep reading them, bookmarking them, and then continuing to aimlessly wander the interwebs (aka: not write.) I'm compiling some of them here in the hopes that it will guilt me into actually doing something about this craving before it deserts me again.
So, without further ado:
201 Ways to Arouse Your Creativity
How to Write a Novel Using the "Snowflake Method"
10 Types of Writer's Block (And How to Overcome Them)
StumbleUpon Staff Picks: Sites That Spark Creativity
Try, Try Again: Rejection Letters Received By Bestselling Authors
In other news, the baby and I are doing fine. It's a boy (confirmed by two different ultrasound techs, 3 weeks apart), and his name is going to be Benjamin James Williams. :) I'm really excited, especially now that I can feel him kicking. (ALL THE TIME.) I'm getting to that impatient point where I'm all "Okay, done being pregnant now, let's get this baby out here so I can cuddle him!" But I'm trying not to let that feeling get out of hand. I need to enjoy the free time I have left to me, and just love the experience.
I probably have a million more things I could say on the subjects of babies and writing (and work, and everything else, for that matter) but I've also got a counter full of dishes and a messy apartment to deal with. (Excuses, excuses.) And we're having people over in a few days, so cleaning is key.
But I'll try to come back more often than I have been. Blogging does actually help the writing flow sometimes, so I need to use that to my advantage. Plus, I know how much fun it is to stalk people you know on the interwebs, and I know I love seeing it when people I follow write entries. So...yeah.
I will ponder those links as I clean. And hopefully that will help.
One thing I have been doing a lot of, though, is clicking through websites on StumbleUpon. And occasionally those websites include advice on how to get "inspired" or arouse your creativity. I keep reading them, bookmarking them, and then continuing to aimlessly wander the interwebs (aka: not write.) I'm compiling some of them here in the hopes that it will guilt me into actually doing something about this craving before it deserts me again.
So, without further ado:
201 Ways to Arouse Your Creativity
How to Write a Novel Using the "Snowflake Method"
10 Types of Writer's Block (And How to Overcome Them)
StumbleUpon Staff Picks: Sites That Spark Creativity
Try, Try Again: Rejection Letters Received By Bestselling Authors
In other news, the baby and I are doing fine. It's a boy (confirmed by two different ultrasound techs, 3 weeks apart), and his name is going to be Benjamin James Williams. :) I'm really excited, especially now that I can feel him kicking. (ALL THE TIME.) I'm getting to that impatient point where I'm all "Okay, done being pregnant now, let's get this baby out here so I can cuddle him!" But I'm trying not to let that feeling get out of hand. I need to enjoy the free time I have left to me, and just love the experience.
I probably have a million more things I could say on the subjects of babies and writing (and work, and everything else, for that matter) but I've also got a counter full of dishes and a messy apartment to deal with. (Excuses, excuses.) And we're having people over in a few days, so cleaning is key.
But I'll try to come back more often than I have been. Blogging does actually help the writing flow sometimes, so I need to use that to my advantage. Plus, I know how much fun it is to stalk people you know on the interwebs, and I know I love seeing it when people I follow write entries. So...yeah.
I will ponder those links as I clean. And hopefully that will help.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Pregnancy Brain
So, thanks to my amazing skills of procrastination, I have been without Zofran since Saturday. (Took the last pill in my bottle on Friday morning.) I have a refill left (which I can pick up tomorrow), but I did not realize it would take so long for it to be filled through the Navy system. I called last Wednesday through the auto-service (when I had two pills left), expecting it would be filled Thursday or Friday. Nope nope. Not til tomorrow.
I was fine on Saturday and Sunday, oddly enough. Probably because of some lingering Zofran in my system? No idea. But yesterday was another story. That was the most vomiting I've done since before I got on the Zofran. Had to call in from work, and was about 2 seconds from being bitched out by my boss. (I can't really blame her - I've been sick a lot these past few weeks. But she knows why. And she knows I'm doing what I can to fix it. So...yeah.) I did manage to keep a little mac and cheese down later in the evening, but not much else.
Today has been better. I was queasy all morning, but no vomiting. And I've been able to eat little bits and drink fluids. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be okay, because I have to go to work before I'll be able to fill the prescription. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call in again, and I doubt that will be pretty.
In other news, the "pregnancy brain" symptom is really really setting in. I can't remember things or hold onto thoughts for more than a few seconds. I've been having to make all kinds of notes and lists just to remember things, and then I end up losing the scraps of paper I write things on, and... ugh. It's annoying. I've started to use the notes functions on my computer and phone - not because I always remember to check them - but because I'm less likely to lose things that way.
You know, I don't even remember what I else I was going to say about that. Huh.
In other, other news: I GET TO GO TO MINNESOTA IN A FEW WEEKS! WOO WOO!
(If you can't tell, I'm super excited!)
I was fine on Saturday and Sunday, oddly enough. Probably because of some lingering Zofran in my system? No idea. But yesterday was another story. That was the most vomiting I've done since before I got on the Zofran. Had to call in from work, and was about 2 seconds from being bitched out by my boss. (I can't really blame her - I've been sick a lot these past few weeks. But she knows why. And she knows I'm doing what I can to fix it. So...yeah.) I did manage to keep a little mac and cheese down later in the evening, but not much else.
Today has been better. I was queasy all morning, but no vomiting. And I've been able to eat little bits and drink fluids. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be okay, because I have to go to work before I'll be able to fill the prescription. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call in again, and I doubt that will be pretty.
In other news, the "pregnancy brain" symptom is really really setting in. I can't remember things or hold onto thoughts for more than a few seconds. I've been having to make all kinds of notes and lists just to remember things, and then I end up losing the scraps of paper I write things on, and... ugh. It's annoying. I've started to use the notes functions on my computer and phone - not because I always remember to check them - but because I'm less likely to lose things that way.
You know, I don't even remember what I else I was going to say about that. Huh.
In other, other news: I GET TO GO TO MINNESOTA IN A FEW WEEKS! WOO WOO!
(If you can't tell, I'm super excited!)
Friday, January 13, 2012
This Blog Will NOT Give You Cancer
I think it may be time to change the name of this blog.
The name is silly, really. A bad attempt at black humor. A remnant of a joke from high school. I've wondered off and on whether it was in bad taste, but have never really been bothered by the thought enough to change it.
I do refrain from telling people the name of this blog, worrying that they might react badly.
(Actually, I don't tell a whole lot of people that I have a blog in the first place. Dunno why. I just don't.)
But anyways...
Today I got an e-mail. Not berating me on the title of this blog, no. But it gave me another reason to want to change it. One I hadn't really considered before.
The e-mail was an offer to write a guest post, sharing the research someone had done on cancer patient rehabilitation and family rehab and whatnot. They thought – from the title, I'm guessing – that it would fit in well with the rest of my content.
I suppose my throwing around the name “Zofran” so much lately probably didn't help that assumption.
But...yeah.
People might think this is a cancer blog. Which it clearly isn't.
I don't really have a new title yet, so it may take me a few days, but just know that changes are probably coming.
Well, not probably.
They will be.
Once I figure out a new title.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
MERCEA COMMISSION!
Stuff and Things
So, here I am. Blogging again.
(I'm going to ask you, preemptively, if you will forgive me for being so disjointed and rambly. Apparently one of the symptoms of pregnancy is something called "pregnancy brain," which has been a kind of mild-to-moderate ADD combined with ditziness. So...yeah. Forgive me.)
Things have been going a little better lately. I'm steadily taking one Zofran pill per day, and things seem to be getting smoother, a little at a time. I'm doing better with fluids (though I admit I'm getting a high percentage of those through these delicious antioxidant-enriched popsicles I found. Nom nom.), and food usually stays down just fine. Smell aversion is the biggest problem for me right now (apart from pregnancy brain, of course, which is a near-constant.) Work is particularly bad, being a second-hand store frequented by homeless people. Lots of smells, none of them particularly pleasant. The break room is sometimes like torture. I would go outside to eat, but I'd rather not sit on the curb and be stared at by bums.
I am so tired of bums.
(Sorry if that sounds heartless, but out here, it is hard to tell the people who are really in need from the people who are just trying to scam you. It gets old fending people off at every corner. Besides, I don't carry cash, anyway. And I'd rather not vomit on someone. Sometimes it's not their fault they smell like urine. Sometimes it is. Either way, vomit would not help their situation.)
I'm getting a little tired of California too, to be honest. Moving is a pain in the butt, but... When we first moved here, everything was new and exciting, and that made it easier to be so far away from home. But now it's all getting familiar, and I'm getting more and more homesick. I'd like a new location to bring a spark back in, make me less mopey. (Let me say, at this point, that I realize I don't really have much to whine about, being fairly healthy, having a home, etc, etc. I just need to whine. I'm whiny. It's what I do.)
Fortunately (or perhaps, unfortunately), that wish may (or may not be) granted sooner than I was expecting. You see, Mark's last phase of schooling wasn't supposed to start until mid-March this year. It was to last until mid-to-late July, and then we would be assigned a permanent duty station; perhaps in San Diego, perhaps elsewhere. On Friday, Mark got a phone call: they were bumping his class up. To now. He started yesterday. Which means his class only runs until May. Which means he'll be getting new orders (possibly to WA? I hope?) a lot sooner. Which also means he may not be around for the birth of our first child.
I was really upset about that at first, but then I calmed down. Know why? Because I realized there is absolutely nothing he or I can do about it. If he can't be there, he can't be there, and moping through the rest of my pregnancy, worrying about that possibility will not help in the slightest. I can hope, but I've got to keep my mind open to the possibility that he might miss it. It makes me sad for the both of us, but more for him than myself.
Don't worry - I won't be all alone. My mom is buying a plane ticket - insured, of course, in case we do have to move elsewhere in May - so that she can be with me at the birth, whether or not Mark is there. If I can't have Mark (and, dear goodness, I hope I can), then at least I can have Mom.
To be honest, I was going to ask her to come then anyway. There are certain times when you just need a Mom's reassurance and presence, and that will be one of them.
But...yeah. That's my life right now.
I was supposed to make a trip home later this month, but extenuating circumstances (work being bitches) made me push it back to next month. I'm buying my plane ticket later this week. That darn trip will not be moved again.
Oh, and my Mom wants to throw me a baby shower while I'm home! Fun!
Mark doesn't get to come, though. He'll be in class. He's super jealous, of course, but he didn't want me to miss out on what could (possibly) be my last chance to make it home before autumn.
I don't know if I have anything else to say. I'm having trouble focusing. Hmmm...
I wish I didn't have to work right tomorrow. Or ever. But I think it's good for me, being out and about, earning money. We just upgraded the apartment, and my paycheck is definitely helping out. We can afford a lot more creature comforts (well, relatively speaking) than we could before. Plus, I really only have 6 more months or so to go before I can stay home anyway.
Man, I'm lazy.
But I hate the workforce. SOOOO MUCH.
I would insert a Tanith Lee quote here, as she also loathes the workforce, but I really can't think of anything. Soo...
Bai.
(I'm going to ask you, preemptively, if you will forgive me for being so disjointed and rambly. Apparently one of the symptoms of pregnancy is something called "pregnancy brain," which has been a kind of mild-to-moderate ADD combined with ditziness. So...yeah. Forgive me.)
Things have been going a little better lately. I'm steadily taking one Zofran pill per day, and things seem to be getting smoother, a little at a time. I'm doing better with fluids (though I admit I'm getting a high percentage of those through these delicious antioxidant-enriched popsicles I found. Nom nom.), and food usually stays down just fine. Smell aversion is the biggest problem for me right now (apart from pregnancy brain, of course, which is a near-constant.) Work is particularly bad, being a second-hand store frequented by homeless people. Lots of smells, none of them particularly pleasant. The break room is sometimes like torture. I would go outside to eat, but I'd rather not sit on the curb and be stared at by bums.
I am so tired of bums.
(Sorry if that sounds heartless, but out here, it is hard to tell the people who are really in need from the people who are just trying to scam you. It gets old fending people off at every corner. Besides, I don't carry cash, anyway. And I'd rather not vomit on someone. Sometimes it's not their fault they smell like urine. Sometimes it is. Either way, vomit would not help their situation.)
I'm getting a little tired of California too, to be honest. Moving is a pain in the butt, but... When we first moved here, everything was new and exciting, and that made it easier to be so far away from home. But now it's all getting familiar, and I'm getting more and more homesick. I'd like a new location to bring a spark back in, make me less mopey. (Let me say, at this point, that I realize I don't really have much to whine about, being fairly healthy, having a home, etc, etc. I just need to whine. I'm whiny. It's what I do.)
Fortunately (or perhaps, unfortunately), that wish may (or may not be) granted sooner than I was expecting. You see, Mark's last phase of schooling wasn't supposed to start until mid-March this year. It was to last until mid-to-late July, and then we would be assigned a permanent duty station; perhaps in San Diego, perhaps elsewhere. On Friday, Mark got a phone call: they were bumping his class up. To now. He started yesterday. Which means his class only runs until May. Which means he'll be getting new orders (possibly to WA? I hope?) a lot sooner. Which also means he may not be around for the birth of our first child.
I was really upset about that at first, but then I calmed down. Know why? Because I realized there is absolutely nothing he or I can do about it. If he can't be there, he can't be there, and moping through the rest of my pregnancy, worrying about that possibility will not help in the slightest. I can hope, but I've got to keep my mind open to the possibility that he might miss it. It makes me sad for the both of us, but more for him than myself.
Don't worry - I won't be all alone. My mom is buying a plane ticket - insured, of course, in case we do have to move elsewhere in May - so that she can be with me at the birth, whether or not Mark is there. If I can't have Mark (and, dear goodness, I hope I can), then at least I can have Mom.
To be honest, I was going to ask her to come then anyway. There are certain times when you just need a Mom's reassurance and presence, and that will be one of them.
But...yeah. That's my life right now.
I was supposed to make a trip home later this month, but extenuating circumstances (work being bitches) made me push it back to next month. I'm buying my plane ticket later this week. That darn trip will not be moved again.
Oh, and my Mom wants to throw me a baby shower while I'm home! Fun!
Mark doesn't get to come, though. He'll be in class. He's super jealous, of course, but he didn't want me to miss out on what could (possibly) be my last chance to make it home before autumn.
I don't know if I have anything else to say. I'm having trouble focusing. Hmmm...
I wish I didn't have to work right tomorrow. Or ever. But I think it's good for me, being out and about, earning money. We just upgraded the apartment, and my paycheck is definitely helping out. We can afford a lot more creature comforts (well, relatively speaking) than we could before. Plus, I really only have 6 more months or so to go before I can stay home anyway.
Man, I'm lazy.
But I hate the workforce. SOOOO MUCH.
I would insert a Tanith Lee quote here, as she also loathes the workforce, but I really can't think of anything. Soo...
Bai.
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